Hi Sisters,
If you haven’t read the first post, I encourage you to read that first (click HERE) as it explains my approach to reading Job during my quiet times.
[Warning: heavy topics ahead. As you read, if you feel yourself becoming triggered or overwhelmed, please do not keep reading. If this brings up wounds in your life, please seek help from a trusted friend, mental health counselor, etc. Do not lose heart, healing from trauma is possible!]
Nightmares, Day and Night
At the end of Job 6, Job implores Eliphaz to believe him and listen to him. Job 7 is a continuation of Job’s reply (Job 6-7) to Eliphaz (Job 4-5). Job unleashes his raw feelings/experiences (my paraphrase):
- I have had months of emptiness
- My nights are full of misery
- The days are passing by and no hope has come
- I toss and turn all night long (can’t sleep)
- When sleep finally comes, nightmares plague my dreams
There’s a lot to unpack there. Job feels empty, miserable, and hopeless. His description of sleep is detailed. As I mentioned in the first post, a person in trauma longs for relief. The brain is on survival mode. Therefore, it becomes physiologically difficult to fall asleep because the brain is on high alert.
Sleep is elusive to Job and lack of sleep only exacerbates the turmoil. However, when Job finally falls asleep, nightmares await. Even in sleep, he can’t find the relief he craves. Trauma is a madding experience. All day long a person may long to go to sleep (hoping her nightmare-reality isn’t real and she will awake to a different reality), but in cruel irony, nightmares are in her sleep too.
Who is to blame for this? GOD!! Job says. Job takes direct verbal aim at God in verses 16-21. “I hate my life, God, so just leave me alone!” (my paraphrase) What I find interesting about this is that Job doesn’t think God is absent, he thinks God is TOO involved. The story Job is telling himself about God: God is impossible to please and overly critical.
Bildad Enters the Conversation
It’s safe to say Bildad doesn’t learn from Eliphaz’s mistakes. He asks (my paraphrase), “Job, how long will you go on blubbering? Is God unjust? If your children perished, they must have gotten the justice they deserved. If you seek God, call out to him, and are upright, then things will turn around for you.”
The story Bildad is telling himself about God: God is a just God (True!). BUT Bildad’s definition of justice is based on his perception. Like Eliphaz, he tells himself overly simplistic and reductionistic stories about those experiencing difficulties and about God (with equally simplistic and reductionistic solutions).
No Pretend Normal
In response to Bildad, Job begins (my paraphrase), “Perhaps the upright do prosper. But how can someone ever be upright in God’s eyes? Impossible! He’s too picky!”
Job repeats the following:
- I am in the right (twice)
- I am blameless (twice)
Job defends his reputation and explains that God’s expectations are too high. (Before we judge Job as being self-righteous, let us recall that God Himself described Job as “blameless and upright”.)
Another trauma response Job is experiencing is feeling breathless: “He will not let me get my breath, but fills me with bitterness” (9:18). This could be both metaphorical and physical. Trauma causes labored, shallow, and irregular beathing. Intentional breathing exercises can help regulate breathing and calm the heart – called bottom up regulation.
In the midst of trauma, Job has tried the method of “pretend normal.”
27 If I say, ‘I will forget my complaint,
I will put off my sad face, and be of good cheer,’
28 I become afraid of all my suffering,
for I know you will not hold me innocent.
Job has tried putting on a smile and pretending like he’s OK – pretend normal. But it’s all fake. Trauma is not neutral; it’s either transmitted or transformed. Therefore, to “pretend normal” only means the trauma will come out in a another way. Facing trauma head on and seeking intentional healing is an incredibly courageous thing to do.
But Job can’t pretend normal even though he’s tried. It’s impossible. A few verses down (into chapter 10), his frustration grows until he’s unleashing his raw words at God again:
1 “I loathe my life;
I will give free utterance to my complaint;
I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
2 I will say to God, Do not condemn me;
let me know why you contend against me.
3 Does it seem good to you to oppress,
to despise the work of your hands
and favor the designs of the wicked?
For the rest of chapter 10, Job continues to let God have it! Much like how he ended his discourse in chapter 7, Job yells, “Leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer!” (cross reference: Psalm 88).
From Job 7-10, I’ve mentioned several effects of trauma observed from these Scriptures. I’ll summarize them below and offer some ideas to counter trauma’s effects:
- Lack of sleep – Lavender oil, preparing the body for sleep such as using an app like Headspace
- Breathlessness – breathing exercises; other bottom-up regulation techniques
- Pretend normal – Intentionally seeking help to heal, such as a counselor or support group
- Confusion at God – Crying out in rawness and authenticity toward God
(Please note, I am not a counselor. This should NOT be taken as clinical advice nor in lieu of seeking care.)
I’ll end with a link to an episode from the podcast “The Place We Find Ourselves”. It’s called, “Why Engaging Your Story Requires Anger At God.” Click HERE to listen. I hope it blesses your soul like it did mine!
By the River Together 