This will be my final post under “Living in Extremes,” but there are so many more!
When you read the title, did you happen to think of the Siamese cats in “Lady and the Tramp”? “We are Siamese if you please. We are Siamese if you don’t please.” Ha! If you know the reference, those cats definitely don’t try to please anyone!
All joking aside, what I want to examine in Scripture is whether or not we are supposed to please other people or not. Are we supposed to care what other people think about us? Or are we supposed to live a life without regards whatsoever to others’ views of us? Do we alter behavior to please other people? Or do we stay “true to ourselves”?
But before all this they will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name’s sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness. . . You will be hated by all for my name’s sake. ~ Luke 21:12-13, 17
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ~Matthew 5:16
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. ~Galatians 1:10
Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. ~I Corinthians 10:32-33
Sooooo… do I try to please people or not? As with other extremes, it is both. Jesus is pretty blunt when he is preparing His followers for reality. Following Jesus, proclaiming His Kingship, claiming all other gods are false, declaring His Kingdom is the rightful kingdom of the earth and that all must follow His ways, etc. will inevitably make some people very upset. He even preempts His followers for betrayal from their friends and family. Whoa. He knows the Gospel is going to be offensive to some and live-giving to others. He is telling His followers that they cannot please everyone. Some people will hate them on account of His name no matter what they do.
At the same time, Jesus gives a long sermon (what we call the sermon on the mount) to every day people on how to manifest the Kingdom of God. There are plenty of commands in the sermon on the mount which purely benefit and please another person (loving an enemy, giving to the needy, etc). Within that sermon, we have the verse above, Matthew 5:16. This seems to say that our good works should be on display, for others to benefit from and so others can see. If other people see our good works (displaying a lifestyle like the sermon describes), they will be pleased and be attracted to God.
Then there’s Paul. In one place he says he doesn’t please people at all. If he cared what other people thought, he wouldn’t even bother being a Christian. But in another place he says exactly the opposite and seems to go further by saying he tries to please people in everything he does!
What gives? Here are a few thoughts to consider. One, we never alter truth of the Bible to please other people. This is why some people will inevitably hate us. Maybe they do not like that God claims to be the only God. Or that Jesus says He is the Way. Or maybe they do not like the Bible’s teachings on money, sex, and power. Or maybe they do not want to give up their lifestyle to follow Jesus. Whatever the hang-up is, we cannot alter truth to bait-and-switch people. God is Savior and King. God expects faith and works. There is life with death to self. There is forgiveness with repentance (change of life direction; change of mind).
Two, on the flip-side, we also do not go out of our way to be offensive to people. We try to avoid all stumbling blocks for the sake the Gospel in their lives. When Paul says he tries to please people, he is saying he molds himself to situations and cultures so as to communicate and display the Gospel the best he can. If I am witnessing to a woman who likes coffee, I will meet her at a coffee shop. If I’m mentoring a woman who enjoys going for walks, I’ll walk with her when we meet. If my sister struggles with over-eating, over-spending, or anything else, I will alter my actions to show my care and love for her. Since men find it harder to keep their minds pure and focused on God when women dress immodestly, I will choose to alter my wardrobe and beach ware. To the coffee lover, I will love coffee. To the walker, I will become a walker. Etc.
Therefore, our aim in pleasing people is to display the Gospel and the Kingdom of God more clearly. Our aim is to avoid stumbling blocks and make a clearer path. However, that never includes altering truth, taking part in sin, or making God’s ways more palatable for the masses.
So, that leaves me with a final note. None of these passages support the American phrase, “you do you.” That’s not what Paul meant. These passages do not give a license to live a life all about myself. They do not give me a license to act a certain way and then proclaim, “That’s just the way I am.” They do not give me the license to ignore godly counsel or loving rebuke. In short, let us re-orient our minds to what the Bible means by “not pleasing people” rather than taking our cue from our culture.
As always, if you find you’re in an extreme, keep your grasp while grasping for the other side!
By the River Together 